


Unhealthy obsession

by MysticallyGallavich



Series: Prompts for my lovelies [14]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Bipolarian, Fight For Me, Love, M/M, Not letting go, Post Season 6, caleb is a douche, obsessed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-07-19 08:57:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7354366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MysticallyGallavich/pseuds/MysticallyGallavich
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Could you write this for me??? Months after 6x01, Mickey is out of jail. Ian and Caleb see Mickey with a guy. Ian starts to be obsessed about this and since, he doesn't take his meds again, he starts to have hallucinations. He starts to see even Mickey with the guy while they kiss or fuck. Ian goes to him and gives vent to his jealousy, because Mickey belongs only to him. But for have him back, he will have to fight, because Mickey doesn't forgive Ian quickly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unhealthy obsession

**Author's Note:**

> I veered a little off topic here. It happens. Hope you like it
> 
> Unedited. Maybe later.

 

\--

"Seriously Ian? You don't want to get back together?" Caleb says angrily and Ian nods.

"That's what I said...me and you, done..we broke up like a year ago Caleb. I agreed to this date...or whatever the fuck it was, because...well honestly because you wouldn't let it go. So I'm here to talk or whatever, but I am not going back to your place, I'm not going to fuck you and even if I did, even if we did, I still wouldn't take you back okay?"

“You’re a dick.” The man says and Ian shrugs.

“That's what I've been told. I'm sorry. I told you when we broke up..that me and you just aren't…we don't work.” He says.

“We don't work? We don't work?!? We were fine, you even said you were happy and then one day, you get all distant and weeks later, it's just not working, what changed? I deserve to know.” Caleb says.

“I did,” Ian says simply. He's trying to listen but suddenly he is pulled out of his argument when he spots something across the street that catches his eye and he tunes out Caleb, not on purpose but it just happens because what he sees looks a hell of a lot like Mickey. Standing across the street, but it can't be him. Mickey is in prison. Mickey couldn’t be standing there with a bright smile on his face, talking lightly to a man standing next to him and Mickey couldn’t be holding that mans hand as the other man looks at him adoringly. That couldn't be happening right? But what other explanation was there that the man he has loved, for years could be standing across the street and looking…happy? Without him. He was going to be sick.

“Are you even listening?” Caleb snaps him out of his trance.

“Huh? Yeah. I'm listening.” Ian says.

“And what did I say then? Or were you too busy looking at the couple across the street? Is that what it is? Am I too available for you? Do you want to get someone you can't have? That it?” He asks and Ian just looks at him.

“I'm done with this Caleb. We've done this. We had a nice time. We dated, we broke up, we moved on or I thought we did. Why am I here? Really? What did you think was going to happen? That I would change my mind? That I was sitting around thinking of you day and night? I'm not. I'm sorry, but no. So are we done here?” He asks.

“Whatever.” Caleb finally gives up and walks away and Ian turns back to look where the couple had been but they were gone and he sighs.

\--

“You wanna tell me what that was about?” Jared asks Mickey who just looks at him.

“What do you mean?” Mickey asks feigning innocence.

“Oh, I don't know…I might be talking about the fact that Mickey Milkovich, just grabbed my hand in the middle of the street and started looking at me like we were fucking in love or some shit.” His friend glares at him,

“Dunno what you're talking about man,” Mickey says.

“Oh for fucking Christ Mickey. I played along because you looked scared out of your fucking mind. What was that?” Jared crosses his arms over his chest.

“Fucking fine. I saw my ex…with his boyfriend. I'm sorry okay.” Mickey huffs.

“Why didn't you just fucking say so. I could have put on a better show than that.” Jared laughs.

“Oh yeah? Fuck you. I don't need your admirers jumping me in an alley. Jesus.”

“Admirers? Really man. Who was the ex?”

“Redhead.” He says

“That guy? Oh, my god. You dated that? Can I have a crack at him? Fucking damn. Sex on a stick, much?” Jared laughs as Mickey flips him off.

“He's taken. Douchebag he was with. That's the asshole he started dating practically the second I got locked up.”

“For real? You're sure about that?” Jared asks and Mickey nods.

“Trust me, heard all about it. My sister has a big mouth. She got the description perfectly. She swears they broke up. But that sure the fuck didn't look like it.”

“God You're as much of an idiot as he is.” Jared shakes his head.

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Ever read that book, he's just not that into you?”

“No.”

“You should because red didn't look all that into the boyfriend.”

“Whatever man,” Mickey says shaking his head.

\--

"I saw him, damn it. I know I did." Ian says more to himself than anything else. Thinking of it over and over again. Mickey standing there, with his hand in some other assholes hand, smiling brightly, happy, happy Mickey. He hadn't seen happy Mickey in so long and to think it was because of someone else, someone who wasn't him, fuck. He was losing his shit, he knew that. He knew it even more as he picked up the phone to call the prison. What was he doing?

What would he do if he was still in there? Go visit? Not likely and if he wasn't?  If he wasn't and he had seen him, what then? He sighed and hung up the phone.

  
He didn't try again, he knew he wouldn't complete the call so he tried to forget. He went out to the bar constantly and he tried to forget but every man, Mickey's face, screaming at him to go back home. Every kiss of a stranger, he saw Mickey's face and heard his voice. It was ridiculous. He needed something, someone that didn't remind him of Mickey at every damn turn. But how? When everything he saw was Mickey.

\--

“Okay Mickey, can I tell him that you're out yet? That you saw him.” Mandy asks her brother as they are having lunch and he glares at her. She knows better than to talk to him about Ian. He wouldn't have even told her that he had seen Ian over a month ago but Jared and his big fucking mouth. Why did all of the guys in his life gravitate towards his sister?

“Why would you do that?” He asks shaking his head.

“Because he thinks it was a hallucination asshole.”

“Whatever. No.” He says and she huffs and crosses her arms.

\--

  
Ian is sitting at a bar, with Mandy, who is trying to cheer him up, that's what she said, which he translated into, 'Ian you're losing your shit, I'm getting you out of the house.' Probably what she was thinking anyway. That’s when he sees the guy that he's sure is Mickey's boyfriend. There was no way…because it wasn't real...Right? Mandy would have surely mentioned Mickey getting out, but this guy was there, maybe he had seen him somewhere else?

That thought dies in his mind when the guy sees them, he raises an eyebrow and then waves, fucking waves. And doesn't move. Maybe he did know the guy. The guy approaches them but he isn't looking at Ian anymore he's smiling at Mandy. He knows Mandy, which means…fuck.

“Hey, Mands.” He says and Ian glares at him.

“On a date in a gay bar?” The man jokes.

“Oh yeah, you know how I just love to hit on unavailable men.” She laughs and then she looks at Ian, she seems to be judging his expression.

“Jared, this is my best friend Ian. Ian this is…”

“Mickey's boyfriend right?” Ian doesn't know what makes him say it, and with such snark. Mandy laughs and shakes her head and Jared takes a second and his eyes widen.

“’Mickey..right. Better go find him then. Good to see you, Mandy. Good to meet you, Ian.” And Jared busies away.

“It was real!?” Ian tells loudly and Mandy shrugs. “Why didn't you say anything?”

“Because he asked me not to Ian. And I love you but he's my brother. My brother whose heart you broke, so he asks me not to tell you he's out and so I didn’t.” And Ian nods sadly.

“But I thought…I was seconds from checking myself into the hospital Mandy. I get that he's your family, that's where your loyalty lies. I fucking get it but…I thought the meds weren't working Mandy. That's not about my past with Mickey, that's about my health.” Ian says standing up, frustrated.

“Seriously? Ian, I'm sorry, I love you. Don't be pissed. Don't go.”

“It's fine. I just, now. Fuck. I have a fucking psych eval thing tomorrow. Because I thought and well, fuck.”

“What? You just said almost? You didn't tell me you were actually checking yourself in?”

“I already signed the papers. It's not a definite hold, but I thought I was going crazy okay? I was obsessing and that's not healthy. So I might still get locked up. I wanted one last night out with my best friend, to tell you I have to go away for a while because I thought I imagined it. Because I'm obviously still in love with him, and obviously I'm not able to deal with that. I'm not mad, I just need to think. Sort out my feelings, what I'm gonna say to my doctor. I'll call you.” He says and she sighs loudly as she watches Ian walk out.

  
“Fuck!” She says.

\--

“I see you ditched the lap dog,” Mickey says later when she gets home and she glares at him.

“Don't.”

“What crawled up your ass?” Mickey asks.

“What happened?!?! We ran into Jared. So Ian knows you're out.”

“Fuck.” He lets out.

“Yeah. And now he knows I lied for you.”

“Well fuck him. He ain't got no right to be mad at you for that.” Mickey bites angrily.

“No, it's worse. He trusted me. And now he's gonna get himself locked up because he thought he was losing his fucking mind. Was that the only time he saw you?”

“What?” Mickey asks eyeing her.

“Mother fucker. There was more wasn't there? My best friend is going to see his doctor tomorrow and tell her that while he did see you once, he's been seeing you everywhere and he's gonna get himself locked up. And I didn't tell him because I promised you. I didn't know he signed the damn papers.”

“Wait. Are you serious? He's really…why?”

“Because he loves you and he thought it was just the damn guilt. He's been feeling guilty this whole time, that's why it didn't work out with Caleb. He says it just wasn't what he wanted but I know. He can't stop thinking of you, and then he sees you, and he thinks it's in his head because you were locked up.” She sighs setting down. “And the way he looked at me when he realized I knew. Like he trusted me and I lied to his face because I did.”

“Well, he knows now. He can just tell the doc it was a misunderstanding.” Mickey tries to justify.

“If only it was that easy Mickey. He knows the one time was real. How many times did he see you and think it was fake? Was it always just across the room or…what about when he thought he saw you at the club, every guy he hit on, he saw your face. Were you there?”

“A couple of times. But not like that, never that close. I always left when I saw him. I just…I couldn't see him. He hurt me, broke me.”

“And now you broke him. Is that payback enough? Broken man for broken man? You loved each other once, doesn't that count for anything?"

"Of course it does. I didn't do anything, I'm just trying to live my life, I can't just go running every time he loses his shit, Mandy. Isn't that why we broke up because I cared too damn much?" He raises his voice but he doesn't mean to and she sighs.

"I know. I get it. I just don't know how to help him with this. Because I love him, and I love you and I fucking hate this. Why couldn't you two keep your horny ass hands off each other and we could of all been friends."

"As nice as a theory as that is Mandy, even if we wouldn't have fucked that day, we would have eventually. How many gay guys are in the southside? Besides, I don't regret that. I don't regret falling in love with him."

"Why not?"

"Because he changed me. Who I was, that was him, always pulling me and pushing me to be me...Fucking damn it. I gotta go." and Mandy's eyes shoot up.

"What are you going to do?" She asks.

"Nothing, Don't worry about it. I gotta go."

"Hold on. If You're going to see Ian, he's not at the Gallagher house." and Mickey turns to her, not really willing to admit a damn thing to his sister so she just shrugs.

"Don't make it worse Mickey." She says getting out her phone and texting him the address.

\--

Mickey steps up to the apartment door, and he breathes in. he doesn't want to do this stupid shit but something struck him. Ian had pulled him out of so much shit, and Mickey wanted to do something for him, they were over, that much was true, but once that Red-headed man had not only been the love of his life but his friend too. The only person he could ever trust with anything, so he stood there and knocked, a few times getting frustrated.

"Mickey?" The voice behind him stopped him, and he turned around to find Ian Gallagher standing there, with a six-pack of beer in his hand. "Is that really you?" Ian asked so unsurely of himself and right there Mickey felt like an ass.

"Mhm. Need to talk to you." Mickey says and Ian just looks at him for a minute before stepping past him to unlock the door. Mickey wonders if Ian even really wants to see him, and until yesterday he was pretty sure that Ian was with that Caleb asshole, so he was curious about that, but that didn't mean anything. That didn't mean that there was even a little bit of the Ian he once knew in there. That Ian had been his world, but the Ian that broke his heart, was not his Ian, he was something else entirely.

"Come in," Ian says sitting the beer on the table. "Have a beer." He says offering.

"Why'd you go get beer anyway? doesn't that...Never mind." Mickey thinks better of his statement because seriously, lecturing Ian on his drinking habits right now, not a good fucking idea.

"Was just gonna have one. Might be...Um, away for a while." He says.

"Mandy told me," Mickey says. and Ian sighs bringing his hands to his face.

"Great, what did she tell you? that I'm off my rocker. She send you here?"

"No, I mean she gave me the address, but I wanted to say something to you. Before you go all fucking depressing and tell your doc that you've lost it or something. I mean, You know I was there, that day, but I was there more too and I guess you should know that."

"What?" Ian says looking at Mickey and Mickey just stares back because in those eyes he could swear his Ian is in them somewhere.

"I um, saw you a few times, but I booked it the hell out of there. You might have seen me a few times, at the club, at that restaurant, and um the dug-outs. that one was difficult." and Ian laughs a little.

"I thought...Well, that's a little bit of a relief. Still might be going away."

"The..Uh, meds and shit? Not working?"

"They are. Honestly besides thinking I was hallucinating seeing my ex who I was pretty sure was in prison, Pretty sure all this shit is, is guilt and pain, but whatever. Still already signed up for the eval, can't back out now. Don't think, Hey I was kidding, ex is totally around, just thought I was crazy, let's go home huh? Doesn't really work like that."

Mickey nods.

"Why are you here Mickey? I know you hate me. you've moved on, have a boyfriend, he seems nice by the way. Gotta be honest though I was hoping he'd be an asshole, that's just my shit. I'm happy for you. Still, sucks but I'm happy for you." Ian says sadly and he wants to mean it.

"Confession....not my boyfriend," Mickey says. If he was doing this, he was doing it.

  
"What do you mean? You broke up?" Ian asks quietly.

"I saw you, freaked. Jared is great, we're good friends. he thought you were pretty hot, though. Want his number?" Mickey jokes and shakes his head.

"Oh yeah, because that wouldn't be fucking awkward. No thanks." and Mickey laughs at that because that was his Ian. He missed his Ian. "I'm sorry ya know," Ian says quietly and Mickey shakes his head.

"Don't."

"What?"

"Don't do that. Don't tell me you're sorry, or that you miss me, or any of that shit, because you left, and you had to be paid to see me, and you left. Found some other asshole, and I can't okay? I came here because I was talking to my sister, and you know before you got sick, we were us and that was messy but it was good. you pushed me to be different and better and you were always there even when I pushed you away, so fuck it, I came here, to be here for you because you would have done it for me. But this is not me begging you to come back, this isn't me telling you I love you or miss you or any of that bullshit okay? We are not friends, we are not lovers, we are two people who used to be in love, who used to be best friends. That's all this is." Mickey says barely being able to get the words out and Ian is just staring at him still, unmoving, the tears are in his eyes but Ian sees him blink them back.

"Okay. Then if you don't want to hear what I have to say, goodnight then." Ian says.

"Seriously? Well, fuck you." Mickey says and rushes out slamming the door behind him.

\--

Ian watches the door slam and he sits on the couch, and he cries. he didn't mean to do that. He didn't. But it was either tell Mickey to get out, or break down and cry. Because he loved Mickey. He had since forever. How could he have forgotten that?

\--

It's three weeks before Mickey sees Ian again. he's kind of surprised because he didn't ask Mandy about his appointment, he didn't ask anything, but there he was on the side of the street, he was with that guy again. He thought Mandy said they were over, well whatever, and he almost walks away, it reminds him entirely of how this started, him dodging Ian, because of that one day at the cafe or across from it really but he sees something. Ian looks pissed off. He know's that face, he has seen Ian make it plenty of times over the years. he has seen Ian look at a million different people like that, never him, that was a whole other pissed off face. He steps across the street out of habit, because he can't help himself.

  
"What did I say, Caleb, we have been over...how long? FOR A YEAR! Leave me alone." Ian clenches his fists, Caleb doesn't notice, if he did he wouldn't step forward like an idiot, and Mickey is half tempted to just stand there and watch his ex-boyfriend, punch his ex in the face because that would just be beautiful but he knows Ian will feel bad about it. so he steps closer until he is behind Ian. Ian doesn't know he's there yet, but Caleb tilts his head in curiosity.

"Tell me something beautiful," Mickey whispers from behind him and Ian stills. This was their thing, when Ian had been sick and laying in bed, not able to move, there was once he had been dead weight and after not speaking for days, he said softly, 'Tell me something beautiful.' and that for some reason had given Mickey hope then, it wasn't the only time they had said it to each other but it was calming for Ian and Mickey knew that and he watched as Ian let his fists go.

"Who the fuck are you?" Caleb asks and Mickey doesn't say anything to him, he just looks at Ian.

"You good?" he asks and Ian nods.

"Yeah..thank you.” And Ian looks at Caleb.

“Caleb, this is Mickey. I'd stop glaring at him like that. He's got a killer right hook.”

“So I've heard. Heard all about your borderline abusive relationship.” Caleb snaps.

“Excuse me?” Mickey asks and looks at Ian and Ian shakes his head. And he can tell, Ian said something else. Regret. So much written all over that face.

“I said it was a typical southside relationship. You know, fight and fuck. I also said some other things. You want to blurt those out too Caleb?” Ian is angry and Mickey knows he's about to say something he probably wouldn't normally say.

“Can't remember all of the things you said about your ex. Sorry, not that important.” Caleb bites and Ian rolls his eyes.

“Fine, I'll say it. I told you he was the love of my life. You dickhead. Now can you please go. Before I punch you.” Ian says. He doesn't look at Mickey now, and Mickey can't really blame him, the last time they saw each other Mickey had pretty much told him not to say shit like that but this isn't like that was. This is Ian being honest.

\--

Ian finally turns to Mickey after arguing with Ian for another solid fifteen minutes. “Sorry about that.”

“A year? He's still after it after a year?” Mickey asks avoiding the confession that Ian had blurted out.

“Yeah. Says I only broke up with him because the meds stopped working.” And Mickey scoffs at that.

“Where did you find that loser?”

“Firehouse. Was an EMT for a while. He helped me for a time. You know, distract.”

“You don't have to explain it to me. We were...are broken up.” Mickey says and Ian nods sadly.

“You don't have to remind me. I relive it every day. I know you don't want to hear that. But it's true.” Ian adds the last part because he knows Mickey's uncomfortable.

“Look, Ian, I know you have regrets or whatever but it's hard for me okay? You ripped my heart out. Like took it out and held it up and ripped it to shreds.” Mickey says and Ian nods.

“I know. And I threw mine in the fire. I get that. I wish I could fix that but I can't. I know that. Thanks for the help today. You didn't have to. But thank you. I'll go now. I'm getting urge to say a lot of things right now, and you know I can't help it. So I'm gonna go home.” Ian says and Mickey nods letting him go.

\--

Three days is a long time, when there are words you want to hear from someone. Mickey had told Ian he didn't want to hear them. But now he couldn't help it. The words out of Ian's mouth rolled around in his head. Now he had to hear them. Was that why he was standing at Ian's door at three in the morning. Probably. Ian opens the door, the sleep is apparent written all over his face and he just stares at Mickey confused.

“Is Mandy okay?” He asks probably because that's the only reason he can come up with in his head as to why Mickey would show up right now.

“She's fine. Say them.” He says and Ian just looks at him, confusion growing deeper.

“Excuse me?”

  
“The damn words. Say all of them. I need to hear them.” He says and Ian sighs realization crossing his face as he opens the door wider.

“Right now?” Ian asks still.

“Yes. Right fucking now. Before I lose my damn nerve and storm out of here.”

“Fine. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. For every moment that led us here. I'm sorry that I needed more than you could give me, I'm sorry I made you kiss me, made you care. I'm sorry that I left, instead of trying better to help, I'm sorry I came back all crazy and I'm sorry I got sick and couldn't deal. I'm sorry that you fell in love with a train wreck because you deserve so much better. Someone who can love you and doesn't need pills to be normal. I'm sorry I broke up with you and didn't visit you every single day and tell you how much I loved you. And  that I can't let you fucking go, because you still deserve better than me, and I'm fucking sorry that I still love you.” Ian says. He is no longer facing Mickey and Mickey knows he can't look at him because that was a lot.

“Do you regret it?” Mickey asks.

“Dumping you? Yes.” Ian says but Mickey shakes his head, before realizing Ian can't see him right now.

“No. Loving me,” Mickey asks.

“Not ever. I regret hurting you and if not loving you would take that away, even a second of it, I'd do it for you.”

“You’re an asshole. You think that would make this better. I'm not sorry that I love you.” Mickey says and Ian turns around swiftly.

  
“You're not? Why not?”

  
“Because Ian. Loving you was probably the best and worst thing I've ever done. It wasn't you breaking up with me that broke me. It was that look in your eyes when you did it. Like you weren't in there anymore. That you didn't care that I was hurting. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget that.” And Ian nods.

“I get that. I'm not the man you fell in love with. I'm sorry I hurt you. And I understand you'll never want me again, I love you, but I don't blame you. I don't think I'd be able to forget either.”

“Look at me,” Mickey says and Ian looks directly into Mickey's eyes and Mickey searches his eyes and there it is. “You're still in there. I can see it. My Ian, right there. I won't forget, I never will, but I love you. If you want me…this…are you willing to fight for it?” And Ian looks at him shocked.

“Wait? Did you just…what are you saying?”

“I'm saying this is bullshit. We were best friends, lovers, and partners. Not just boyfriends. You were fucking family. You want to fight for me? Or let me go. Those are your  options right now Ian.”

“If I kiss you will you punch me?” Ian asks.

“Only one way to find out,” Mickey says and so Ian leans in and places a soft kiss on his lips. And Mickey pulls him deeper for a minute before backing up.

“Fight for me, Ian. I need you to do that for me.”

Ian nods. “Anything you want. I'm yours.”

“You better mean that. Because I ain't doing this shit again.”

“I'll never leave you again. Not like that. I can't live like this again.” And Mickey nods.

“I really hope you mean that. I'm going against my better judgment right now.”

And they looked at each other and that was it before the fog was gone and they pulled each other in and kissed deeply and it was full of fire. A fire that never burnt out.

**Author's Note:**

> @mysticallygallavich. 
> 
> Come visit me. ;)


End file.
